I’m learning German as part of an extra class on top of my degree. 90% of the time, ich bin very sad, because learning German, learning any language to be honest, is difficult. So this blog post is gonna be about that remaining 10% of the time, where ich bin happy because some features of the language have brought me some form of entertainment – the language is so satisfyingly logical in some parts, and yet completely illogical at the same time.
For instance, if du gathered from the title, Germans ‘cook’ coffee, rather than ‘make’ coffee. I’m not sure how I feel about this, because ‘cooking’ is for food, not liquid. Whatever.

Slugs are essentially naked snails in Germany, because how do you say slug in Deutsch? Nacktschnecke = literally, naked snail.
Gloves? Handschuhe = hand shoes.
Toy? Spielzeug = play thing.
Nipples? Brustwarzen = breast warts.
Lightbulb? Glühbirne = glowing pear.
Tortoise? Schildkröte = shield toad.
Turkey? Truthahn = threatening chicken.
Kettle? Wasserkocher = water cooker.
Fridge? Kühlschrank = cool cupboard.
You can really count on the Germans to just say it how it is. The language seems pretty logical to follow, right? After reading just one blog post you’ll be fluent. For example, any English speaker can probably guess what this means…Das ist nicht regional – that is not regional (bit of a random example but that’s what’s on today’s Duolingo lesson for me). Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
What about if you want to say…
When I become conscious again, I am in a big room.
Als ich wieder zu mir komme, bin ich in einem großen Raum.
The literal translation of this is as follows; as I again to me come, am I in a big room. What a load of bollocks. I quit.